Donny Downer

I recently watched one of my friends get married. These two have been together for nearly a decade and they're truly meant for each other. I'm all for marriage. It's a beautiful thing--especially between two people who are committed to each other and willing to give 110%. But I don't want to talk about their happiness or that marriage takes work. I want to talk about Donny Downer.

You've probably met these guys: they hate their job, loathe their neighbor and think all women are crazy. I had the pleasure of dating one of these guys and wow, it was fun! ;)

While positivity and adaptability are two of my top strengths, I can only handle negativity and rudeness for so long before I snap. And when I go to weddings and see normal people have normal relationships, I'm reminded it's too late to settle.

Back to Donny, let's just say it never worked out, but there were some five key takeaways I learned from his attitude.

1. Listen to your gut. There's a reason you never thought it work in the first place.
2. Thankfulness goes a long way. My upbringing and experiences have taught me to be grateful for the things you have and not to complain for things you don't have. In other words, be thankful for your job, the roof over your head and that you can walk. There are many people in this world who have less than that and yet even they find reasons in their day to smile.
3. If there's no kindness in his eyes or on his lips, kindness is not in his heart either. Very early on, I noticed that he never complimented me on the way I looked, never congratulated me on my achievements and always looked to criticize. Mind you, I don't need people to tell me nice things about myself all the time, but once in awhile kindness is nice. 
4. He's laughs at, not with you. I don't take myself seriously and I love to laugh and joke around. While we did laugh, it always tended to be at my expense. It gets old.
5. To him marriage is a contract. Here's a fun thing about dating in your mid-30s. Within the first two dates, the topic steers towards marriage. This Donny Downer said he'd never marry anyone without a pre-nup. To which I say, if you own your own island, a couple houses or consistently wear a black hoodie and created a social network some one billion people are part of, then yes, a pre-nup is in order. If not, you probably don't have much money. And worse, you have no concept of what the word "forever" truly means. And to you I say, no thanks.

It's these experiences that remind me of the way my dad treats my mom and vice versa. Namely as it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."