Donny Downer

I recently watched one of my friends get married. These two have been together for nearly a decade and they're truly meant for each other. I'm all for marriage. It's a beautiful thing--especially between two people who are committed to each other and willing to give 110%. But I don't want to talk about their happiness or that marriage takes work. I want to talk about Donny Downer.

You've probably met these guys: they hate their job, loathe their neighbor and think all women are crazy. I had the pleasure of dating one of these guys and wow, it was fun! ;)

While positivity and adaptability are two of my top strengths, I can only handle negativity and rudeness for so long before I snap. And when I go to weddings and see normal people have normal relationships, I'm reminded it's too late to settle.

Back to Donny, let's just say it never worked out, but there were some five key takeaways I learned from his attitude.

1. Listen to your gut. There's a reason you never thought it work in the first place.
2. Thankfulness goes a long way. My upbringing and experiences have taught me to be grateful for the things you have and not to complain for things you don't have. In other words, be thankful for your job, the roof over your head and that you can walk. There are many people in this world who have less than that and yet even they find reasons in their day to smile.
3. If there's no kindness in his eyes or on his lips, kindness is not in his heart either. Very early on, I noticed that he never complimented me on the way I looked, never congratulated me on my achievements and always looked to criticize. Mind you, I don't need people to tell me nice things about myself all the time, but once in awhile kindness is nice. 
4. He's laughs at, not with you. I don't take myself seriously and I love to laugh and joke around. While we did laugh, it always tended to be at my expense. It gets old.
5. To him marriage is a contract. Here's a fun thing about dating in your mid-30s. Within the first two dates, the topic steers towards marriage. This Donny Downer said he'd never marry anyone without a pre-nup. To which I say, if you own your own island, a couple houses or consistently wear a black hoodie and created a social network some one billion people are part of, then yes, a pre-nup is in order. If not, you probably don't have much money. And worse, you have no concept of what the word "forever" truly means. And to you I say, no thanks.

It's these experiences that remind me of the way my dad treats my mom and vice versa. Namely as it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."  

No More Philly Trash Talk

A view of Independence Hall.

A business trip in September took me to Philadelphia, home of brotherly love and sisterly affection. And while the people are nice, what I immediately noticed is the town didn't smell. The raunchy memory stems from the last time I was there in 1986. My family and I took a vacation to Washington D.C. and the birthplace of democracy. It was a great trip, but what we didn't realize until we were there is that Philadelphia was going through some major city issues that resulted in an 18-day trash strike. In other words, trash was piled up everywhere. In the streets. In the alleys. In the parks. Everywhere. As we saw the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall where the Declaration of Independence was signed, there was a stench. Imagine, being nine-years old and soaking up all that history, but all you're really concentrating on was holding your nose and not breathing. That was me.

Pat's King of Steaks with mushrooms.

Going back for the second time in more than 25 years, I was nervous for my nose's sake. My hotel was within walking distance of many of the historical sites. So, during my free time, I ventured out to see the town and thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised by what I smelled and saw.

Philadelphia smelled good. The city has taken major strides to preserve and protect the relics of our country's path to freedom. The Liberty Bell is now enclosed in a beautiful building and tells the story of how the bell's crack came to be. It was also interesting to learn how the bell has been used for groups of people throughout history as a mascot for their cause. I walked across the street to the Visitor's Center, where free tour tickets were available to tour Independence Hall. It was nice to be reminded of how hard our forefathers fought for us to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Plus, a bonus, no trash. Rather, lush grass and people like me, who love to learn about the past.

If you're going to visit Philly, you must infuse yourself i the culture, so I enjoyed an authentic cheese steak sandwich from both Pat's and Geno's, the competing eateries just happen to be right across the street from each other. I also drank in the atmosphere at some local pubs and ran up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art like Rocky. And even better, I ran on the bike trail nearby that takes you along Boathouse Row.

My three-day trip has replaced my memories of Philly. I no longer think how trashy and smelly the town is, rather how wonderful it is that they're preserving history for the future.

Hi...I'm Mrs. Nebraska

Kim Daniels is 2012 Mrs. Nebraska

How do you introduce yourself when you're Mrs. Nebraska America? Ask Kim Daniels. She's the reigning queen and recently shared her personal journey on what it takes to wear the crown during the Omaha IABC monthly professional development luncheon. Kim competed against 12 other amazing women to end up taking home the title. She's a busy wife, daughter, sister, friend, civic leader and career woman who also manages to schedule multiple Mrs. Nebraska appearances, as well as doing some fundraising while gearing up for the Mrs. America Pageant that will take place August 27-29 in Tucson, Arizona.  
 
I know what you're thinking. The Mrs. America Pageant is just like TLC's reality show, "Toddlers &Tiaras", right? The show focuses on showing moms (and sometimes dads) in the height of drama, getting their young daughters veneers on their teeth, hair extensions and a pageant coach to take them through the steps of winning a crown and a trophy that's often taller than the little girls. The Mrs. America Pageant couldn't be more of a contrast.  
 
Yes, Kim got a coach and a personal trainer. She's also beautiful, successful and has gorgeous gowns. But more importantly, Kim is raising awareness about the importance of family, civic duty and empowering other women to achieve their dreams and goals. She's also shedding light on her personal platform for the Abused & Neglected Children’s Emergency Shelter, a part of Heartland Family Service. Says Kim, "I entered the pageant as a way to challenge myself, to step out of my comfort zone and meet other women with similar aspirations. The journey of introspection and articulation is critical in bringing you to the forefront of the pageant competition. It was a lot of work, and a lot of fun."
 
The Mrs. Nebraska America Pageant judges contestants on the following three pillars: commitment to family, commitment to community/civic duty, and empowering other women to reach their highest potential. Pillars, I think most if not all women aspire to.  And let's face it, sometimes it is hard for women to toot their own horns, to decide they're worthy to run for something like this and to make time for themselves. Kim shared how she crafted her personal brand, came upon her platform to be the voice for Nebraska's abused and neglected children, and how she balances it all as the community relations manager and event planner at The Scoular Company and staying anchored in her marriage of 23 years. In addition to winning the title of Mrs. Nebraska, Kim, some achieved some additional awards including:

• The Marriage Longevity Award
• The Leadership Award
• The Entourage Award
• The People's Choice Award
• The Evening Gown Award

So, how do other people see you? What ideas pop up when someone hears your name? Whether networking internally to get that promotion, interviewing for a job or making a presentation, building a strong personal brand could be the one thing that helps you rise to the top.
 
Be sure to root for Kim as she competes against 50 other worthy competitors who are successful, determined and beautiful both inside and out.

How's Your Love Life?

My mom started asking me this question when I was in college, probably just to get information about guys I was dating without being nosy. While it was annoying back then, now it's become endearing. And these days it's even comical with my love life being a disaster.

While I also use this tactic to gleam information from some of my male and female friends, I also get this from other random outside folks. In fact, just today, I got a text from a guy who asked me, "On a side now, hows the love life?" To which I responded, "It's a disaster :)" His response? "Sorry to hear."

What?? Really?? You think I'm sad because I'm not dating anyone? It's actually quite the opposite. So I guess I want to clear up some misconceptions you might have when it comes to my love life. Just because I'm not dating, doesn't mean I'm unhappy. It means my true WOO is coming out. I'm relishing in the opportunities I get to explore new friendships, networking and other opportunities others may have to pass by due to the whole ball and chain thing. In fact, here are six reasons I am happy to be single. Reasons you may be a little envious of.


1) Leftovers are left. Yes, that cheesecake you kept in the fridge never mysteriously disappears. You don't have to hide the last slice of pizza where someone else won't see it. In fact, I left half of a dessert in the fridge after book club and enjoyed every last bite!

2) Double book as often as needed. On Tuesday, I went to a networking event to meet up with one friend and afterward, shared a conversation with another friend over dinner at a new Mexican restaurant. On Thursday, I went to open open house and enjoyed drinks afterwards with the girls. I never feel bad, I never check in. I just say, "Gotta go. Nice to see you."

3) There's no line. I never wait for the bathroom, to use the shower, etc. etc. etc. And I never place blame or complain about anybody's messes, because they're all mine.

4) The channel changing war is over. When I was in a relationship, I never had control of the remote. And even with the advent of dvrs and recording shows, it continues to be an issue. Now I watch what I want, when I want. "The Good Wife" on Sunday, must see TV on Thursday, etc.



5) My conversations don't include, "What's for dinner?" I think this may be the topic of conversation couples debate over more than anything else. It used to be done via phone and now it's text. Now that I'm single, I am never forced to waste a precious minute of my time on this topic. I come up with the idea, recipe and get what I need from the store.

6) My discretionary spending habit is never scrutinized. From the trip I'm taking to Cali for a half-marathon to the pumps I found on sale at the store, whatever it is, no one raises an eyebrow or bats an eye at how when or where I spend my money. 

So I guess what it comes down to, is I am happy to be in a relationship with myself. Most people I know don't get this opportunity until they'll well past their prime due to the loss or divorce of their significant other. Sooner or later this chapter of my life will come to an end, but until then, I'm owning it and am making the most of it.