An Answer 4 Days & A Crude Accusation Later

Like any normal girl, I totally over-analyzed why my date randomly ditched me at the Funny Bone 15 minutes before the end of the show. Was I rude? Did I come off as being bored? Not cute enough? Too independent? What was it??

I told my story several times to my mom (it makes her sick to her stomach), my dad (WHAT?!), my friends and even co-workers and some randies at the bar--both men and women. But none of us could could come up with a plausible answer other than the following:

• explosive diarrhea
• married
• gambler

So, I decided to ask him directly. And four days after the date, in the course of an hour via text, the answer unfolded. And I have to say, I totally didn't see this see this one coming.

Me: Norm says ur @ the job site so good to know ur alive. Am curious why u ditched and stiffed me on fri night. Not only rude, but also a waste of my time & money.

Me: Btw...the consensus is u had explosive diarrhea, are married or u have a gambling problem :)

Him: No no and no

Me: I'm thinking ur just a douche

Him: Wow really

Me: Yes, really. my co-worker, who's married, is confused. He's asking u, "do u think u did nothing wrong?"

Him: Well its not anything you did, ill just put it like this, in attending a funeral tomorrow from what transpired on friday night long story and its too late to smooth things out with you, obviously by your anger, all i can say is im sorry

Me: U know I'm not mad...but the fact that u left w/out saying anything?? I'm sorry 4 ur loss, but u could have textd me.

Him: I really have no excuse short of a dead battery that night, i had to fly down to lincoln to brian and figured that prob ruined anything that may have been starting. so in a nut shell what happened that night and my handling of it was terrible

Me: True that. Again, even if u had a dead battery, u could have communicated those facts 2 me. And really, no car battery charger? Really? Hard 2 believe...

Me: And ur phone was dead 4 4 days? Really? I can't believe u think I would honestly consider giving u a 2nd chance. A check yes, but u have zero opp. 4 redemption.

Him: Not for four days like i said i figured that i f**cked up that chance, would i like one yes but...

Me: R u serious? I don't the same mistake twice. I'm not an idiot & I don't settle. If ur type is all that's left, I'm fine w/ staying single.


It goes downhill from there, but I think you get the jist.

So what do you think? Am I blowing this out of proportion because of his family emergency? Or am I justified in saying what I said? 

Left-Mid Laugh...REALLY?

I haven't been stood-up since since high school, so 15 years later, being left mid-date came as quite a surprise. Yes, that's right. My date left me during the middle of a comedian's monologue and stiffed me with the bucket of beer. After a long relationship and plenty of dating disasters, my friends now think I'm too picky, so ladies, this one is definitely for the record books. And really, I should have picked up on the following clues--but I didn't. And let's face it, I'm using it for my future book, because you can't make this up!

Here's what happened. I met him while working one of my side projects. He's a construction guy and somehow got my number and called me (Clue #1) We had gone out previously and talked/texted a couple times, so he seemed nice enough. Now marriage material? Probably not, but because at a recent dinner party with my friends, they accused me of finding little things wrong with ever guy I've dated, I decided (against my gut feeling) to give him one more chance and take it for the team.

He didn't have a plan on what to do for a date (Clue #2), so I suggested we go to the Funny Bone. That particular evening Brad Williams was headlining the comedy club and I had received free tickets, so I suggested that option and we decided to meet up at a nearby bar before the show for a drink.

I'm having an exceptionally great hair day (Clue #3) but an hour before we were supposed to meet, I got a call from him, telling me he'd be late. (Clue #4) No problem. I'm flexible and I've definitely been late for a date before. So we shifted the time back. Then he calls me to tell me he's on his way so I show up at the spot--but he's not there. Apparently he forgot where we were going to meet and went to a different bar and then realized his mistake. (Clue #5) At this time, more bells and whistles are going off in my head that something is wrong, but I've ignored these cues for so long that I didn't even hear them and brushed them aside.

So he finally gets to the right spot, we have some small talk and make our way to the comedy club. I think eveything is going okay and the comedians are pretty funny. Then Brad takes the stage and his jokes center around his life as a little person. (So Brad, if you read this, fee free to use this for one of your jokes.) And that's when it happens. I'm laughing, he's laughing. We're all laughing. Then he gets up and never comes back.

At first, I think nothing of it. He kind of motioned he was coming back, so I thought he went to the restroom. But 20 minutes later, he's still not back and I'm thinking maybe he fell in. So I text him.

"Are u still here??"

Nothing.

And that's it. The jokes are over. The lights come up, the waitress comes over to tell me I have to pay for the drinks and I leave for home. On the way I texted, "FYI...I'm going home." Of course I didn't go home, I went to a different bar by myself and told the story to whoever would listen, but that's for another story.

Here's my questions: Where did he go? If he wasn't coming back, why didn't he text me something about how he's feeling sick? A family emergency, ANYTHING???? And, if he didn't want to go out with me in the first place, why did he ask? Or why didn't he cancel? REALLY?

And really the bigger question, why don't I listen to my gut. I knew from the start this wasn't going anywhere. Yes, it's a funny story--but let's face it, I have much more fun hanging out with my cat Gus on a Friday night, than hanging out by myself at a comedy club. But then, that's not blog material, is it?

Would love to hear your thoughts on where he went and why he never responded to me. And yes, I will keep you posted if he ever texts me back. Poor guy, he has no idea what's in store for him.