How's Your Love Life?

My mom started asking me this question when I was in college, probably just to get information about guys I was dating without being nosy. While it was annoying back then, now it's become endearing. And these days it's even comical with my love life being a disaster.

While I also use this tactic to gleam information from some of my male and female friends, I also get this from other random outside folks. In fact, just today, I got a text from a guy who asked me, "On a side now, hows the love life?" To which I responded, "It's a disaster :)" His response? "Sorry to hear."

What?? Really?? You think I'm sad because I'm not dating anyone? It's actually quite the opposite. So I guess I want to clear up some misconceptions you might have when it comes to my love life. Just because I'm not dating, doesn't mean I'm unhappy. It means my true WOO is coming out. I'm relishing in the opportunities I get to explore new friendships, networking and other opportunities others may have to pass by due to the whole ball and chain thing. In fact, here are six reasons I am happy to be single. Reasons you may be a little envious of.


1) Leftovers are left. Yes, that cheesecake you kept in the fridge never mysteriously disappears. You don't have to hide the last slice of pizza where someone else won't see it. In fact, I left half of a dessert in the fridge after book club and enjoyed every last bite!

2) Double book as often as needed. On Tuesday, I went to a networking event to meet up with one friend and afterward, shared a conversation with another friend over dinner at a new Mexican restaurant. On Thursday, I went to open open house and enjoyed drinks afterwards with the girls. I never feel bad, I never check in. I just say, "Gotta go. Nice to see you."

3) There's no line. I never wait for the bathroom, to use the shower, etc. etc. etc. And I never place blame or complain about anybody's messes, because they're all mine.

4) The channel changing war is over. When I was in a relationship, I never had control of the remote. And even with the advent of dvrs and recording shows, it continues to be an issue. Now I watch what I want, when I want. "The Good Wife" on Sunday, must see TV on Thursday, etc.



5) My conversations don't include, "What's for dinner?" I think this may be the topic of conversation couples debate over more than anything else. It used to be done via phone and now it's text. Now that I'm single, I am never forced to waste a precious minute of my time on this topic. I come up with the idea, recipe and get what I need from the store.

6) My discretionary spending habit is never scrutinized. From the trip I'm taking to Cali for a half-marathon to the pumps I found on sale at the store, whatever it is, no one raises an eyebrow or bats an eye at how when or where I spend my money. 

So I guess what it comes down to, is I am happy to be in a relationship with myself. Most people I know don't get this opportunity until they'll well past their prime due to the loss or divorce of their significant other. Sooner or later this chapter of my life will come to an end, but until then, I'm owning it and am making the most of it.

Rediscovering your worth

A couple weeks back my position was eliminated with virtually no warning. I was a marketing assistant for a senior living community based in Omaha, Neb. and generally liked my job and the people I worked with. I'm pretty sure they were happy with my work too. Though, looking back, the last couple weeks of work, my gut was telling me that things were off, though I couldn't put my finger on what that meant. That was until the day I had a meeting with my boss and the HR director that confirmed what I probably knew all along.

This isn't the first time I've dealt with a job loss, as two years earlier, I dealt with the same thing when I was doing social media and video production for a local health care organization. So, after allowing myself to cry in front of my boss (I couldn't help it) I went to my parent's house and told them the news and then followed the expert's advise on coping with the stress that comes with a job loss--you know face the facts, reach out, network, stay positive, etc.

Every day my family, friends and co-workers at my part time job ask me how the job search is going and are, for the most part, empathetic. I always answer with the same, "I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking." And for the most part, my spirits are up. I believe life is a journey and that when a door closes, a window opens.

I wanted to let you in on routine day-in-the-life of me, now that I'm unemployed. Don't get me wrong, I do want a full-time job for the money and the stability that comes with it, but I have to admit, I'm enjoying this time of rediscovering old hobbies, my worth and the beauty of being alive. 

• The opportunity to hang out. 

when was the last time you visited your grandmother just because she's 93 and lives in a nursing home 85 miles away? I did that the first week I wasn't working because I could. I felt like I was in grade school because I rode with my parents (in their "new" car) and met my sister and her daughter at the nursing home. We got there in time for lunch and stayed for the afternoon, playing King's Corner and just talking. It was great.

I also have had the pleasure to hang out with one of my friends and her new baby--watching movies,  seeing some local sites and reconnecting with one another.

• Literally "running" errands.

I enjoy running--it's what I do to keep me stress-free and in shape and probably to keep me busy. But there are times that I don't feel like running. So recently I decided to ditch the car and run to my nearby grocery store to cash a check. It was great. All of a sudden, I found my purpose again and a reason to run. I took a new route and re-discovered the reason I love running so much.

• Try your hand at stitching.

Although I grew up in the city, I was a 10-year 4-H'er who once sewed a fuchsia lined wool suit (yes my friends make fun of this). But since I quit 4-H, I haven't threaded a needle, save for the handful of buttons I've sewed back on my shirts or the pants I've re-hemmed by hand. Anyway, I've had these IKEA drapes that I've been meaning to hem properly for the past five years. So what better way to spend a Tuesday morning than by firing up the serger and sewing?

And while I haven't sewed for at least 15 years, I felt pretty confident that I would rock it, especially since I read the directions, looked at the pictures, etc. However, after breaking the thread and re-threading the machine at least eight times, I finally frantically called my sister and using choice words, asked what I was doing wrong. Of course, it was a simple solution and after that I serged away, finishing the hem on my drapes which now are hanging nicely.

• Reaffirmation of worth. 

I have filled out dozens of applications along with updating my resume. So, I am constantly reaffirming to myself the great things about me. What are those, you ask? Well, according to Gallup's Strengthfinders test, my top five strengths are: "woo" (win others over), communication, harmony, adaptability and positively. Let's face it, everyone needs a cheerleader on their team who, despite an uphill battle, will be positive and say, "Go team, you can do it!" If that's not your work place, that's probably not where I want to be.  

• Take a cat nap.

When in doubt, I take Gus' (my cat) lead and take a nap. These naps usually fall in the mid- to late-afternoon and can last anywhere from 2-3 1/2 hours. And I love them and don't feel guilty about taking them. I've discovered that there are times when every job possible has been applied for, I've updated my blog, I've networked with everyone I can think of--have even put in a second load of laundry. In other words, I've done all I can do for today...Now I just have to sit back and wait...